Sunday, June 30, 2013

Resident Troll: Guys? Did You Hear? Girls Don't Like Game of Thrones Because it's Icky!

So I found a thing.

My first reaction to the headline was something along the lines of:


Because it was pretty much ridiculous. I'm a girl. I like Game of Thrones. Yes I admit, I like things that most people consider male oriented, but if I can get my mom to watch six episodes of a show in one sitting, it can't be an all boys club.

Because I love analyzing things bit by bit, let's go through this article, for funsies. We can start with the headline.

"The reasons she throws shade on your medieval man show"


Let's move on.

"Game of Thrones ranks somewhere on the Girl Dislike scale between NASCAR and that National Geographic show where the guy sticks his hand in a catfish’s mouth."

Oh, hahahaha, I get it. The author is doing that thing where girls are supposed to like barbies and guys play with action figures. Riiiiight. Good job, mate. Very creative. Game of Thrones is one of those boy things like vidya games and the ESPN.

She goes on (did I mention the author is actually of the female sex? Well, that's a thing) to begin her list that explains why girls dislike GoT.

"We hate gross things. Know what’s gross? Screwing your sibling."

This is where my face is something like: 


It's pretty much like a trainwreck. Once you start looking, you can't stop. Apparently the thought that incest is unacceptable is a gender specific assumption? Maybe guys are just into that? I don't know. I don't have a penis, and thus I cannot properly judge. My vagina is clouding my judgement.

"It’s hard to follow. Brilliantly developed storylines are great, but whipping out a dry erase board and Venn diagrams to figure it all out isn’t our idea of a good time. Unless we’re talking about soap operas. Those are perfectly fine."

This is where I go from embarrassed for the author to slightly enraged, because


I can't. Honestly, if you watch and you pay attention, it's not hard at all. Soap operas however? OH MY GOD THE DRAMA AND THE ROMANCE AND THE BETRAYAL--

oh wait that's all very familiar to me, that happens in this little show called game of thrones holy shit. Except, you know, the acting isn't shitty, and the writing is actually good.

"It reminds us of the kids that used to play magic cards in the cafeteria. And people who go to Renaissance festivals. Eating a giant drumstick and drinking out of a goblet is cool, just not every Sunday night for three months straight."



I guess girls can't play "magic cards" or go to Renaissance festivals...

"It’s all naked chicks. In addition to the actual ladies of the night on the show, there seem to be a lot of...unofficial ladies of the night on the show. This is why guys love it, we get it, but we can do without seeing topless wenches in loin cloths."


First of all: I guess lesbians don't exist in this woman's world. Secondly, I love naked chicks, man. And I'm not a lesbian. But honestly, if you really hate naked chicks so much it keeps you from watching a show, there's likely an issue.

The author goes on to question how men like it considering all the castration and amputating, then starts her list of suggesting how to get your lady into Game of Thrones. She also tries to justify her previous claims by saying plenty of girls do like Game of Thrones which... I don't even know why she wrote the article if she knew such a fact.

So how do I get my girl into Game of Thrones, you ask? 

"Tell us about the romantic crap. Yes, latch onto that one fraction of a second in that one episode that made her go “awwww.”"



I love me some romance, but this comment still feels like an insult to my intelligence. 

"Downplay the incest thing."



I don't... how? The 'incest' thing sparks a fucking war that the entire show centers around. When she asks what GoT is about, you pretty much have to mention the incest thing. 

"Tell her about Sir Loras. Girls love gay guys."



Stahp.

"Assure her that Peter Dinklage’s character is a Boss (and don’t bring up the thing about his disproportionately big wang.)"



If you're trying to attract chicks, why wouldn't you go on about his disproportionately big wang? Some chicks like that.

IN CONCLUSION?

IF YOU'RE A LADY OR A NOT LADY YOU SHOULD BE WATCHING GAME OF THRONES.

2 comments:

  1. I'm not a fan of Game of Thrones myself, but at least I don't disrespect the show or fandom whatsoever.

    People like this need a smack in the face. -_-

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  2. I agree that her article is vastly unintelligent, but there were also times reading your artivle where I wanted to facepalm myself to the moon. As a superfem, you tend to take stuff like this over the top (I don't mean that in an offensive way, but I know from experience). There were some points where I think you totally missed her message and responded inaccurately because you were just totally fed up with some previous crap she wrote. While I find none of her article to be truly *accurate*, I don't think the entire piece is full of shit. Just my two cents.

    ReplyDelete

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